


Past and Future

by Natasja



Series: Tales Untold and Legends Unsung [13]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, M/M, Nico comes to terms with his sexuality, Solangelo is my second OTP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 14:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2625221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natasja/pseuds/Natasja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico thinks about his past infatuation with Percy, and looks to the future</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past and Future

I was ten years old when I was introduced to a world I had only dreamed about.

I think I was, anyway. I might have known earlier, but a quick dip in the Lethe took care of any memories I had of a time before the Lotus Hotel and Casino.

Percy was the first demigod I recall meeting, and he was... Indescribable.

To my ten-year-old self, it was as though he had stepped straight out of one of my Mythomagic Cards; tall, classically good looking, holding a sword and never hesitating as he stepped forward to defend my sister and I.

Even in my head, I cringe at how much I sound like some kind of fainting damsel.

He put up with my endless questions and boundless enthusiasm, even when he had to be in huge amounts of pain from thinking Annabeth was lost.

Percy tried to warn me that quests were dangerous, and that there was always a chance that not all of them would return, but I didn't listen.

Surely such a great hero could achieve anything, and I made him promise to bring Bianca back. He promised to do his best, but it wasn't enough.

I screamed at him, my crush warring with my anger and grief, and Percy didn't try to defend himself, shouldering the blame that should have been shared out.

Despite my yelling at him, blaming him, and calling up skeleton warriors to attack him, Percy still reached out and tried to help me, no matter how hard I tried to push him away.

* * *

Percy never considered himself a Hero, but his actions made him such in my mind, and my love for him grew, even as I struggled with myself and the idea of being Gay.

In the 1940s, being Gay was viewed as immoral, a mental illness, even a criminal offence. I might not remember much of those years, but it was firmly fixed in my subconscious.

On the other hand, I was the son of a God of Ancient Greece, a culture that not only sanctioned Gay unions, but sometimes even celebrated it, as in the case of the Sacred Band of Thebes, a unit of 150 bonded male couples.

As if I didn't have enough internal crises to deal with already.

* * *

The first time I left Camp Half-Blood, it was to get away from the knowledge of Bianca's death.

The second time, I had spent months under the influence of Minos, whose poisonous whispers had me convinced that as a Son of Hades, I would never be accepted, insecurities that stopped me from really trying to settle into camp even after I showed up with an undead army and three gods during the Titan War.

Until the much-underestimated Son of Apollo, Will Solace, called me out on it, I had always run from my fears, and it was time that I stopped.

I was still scared, of course.

Will had seen me pretty much command that Octavian should die.

I had only just started seeing Percy as a regular guy, rather than my crush. Who outside of Cabin Ten fell in and out of love so easily?

Why would Will love me when he had his pick of half the demigods at camp, and probably every mortal he came across outside of it?

I had pushed Will away at every turn, what if he had given up?

How much of his attention was a healer's concern for his patient? Ok, that last one sounded a bit like a bad porn set-up, but can you blame me? Will is the demigod image of his father (if less likely to burst into poetry), tall, built, golden...

Where was I? Oh, right.

Well, I am hereby sentenced to at least three days of bed rest under Will's supervision, and most of the demigods are out of the infirmary and back to their usual cabins and activities.

Three days of mostly just me and Will. I can deal with that, and maybe use the time to test the waters.

* * *

Percy is my past, the one who opened my eyes to who and what I was, and I will always be thankful for that.

Percy showed me that Demigods were real, supported and helped me even when I was such a brat toward him, and was my first crush.

I am still a bit confused about my feelings towards Will, whether he will be no more than my friend, or if perhaps he feels the same way I do.

Apollo was known to have nearly as many male lovers as female ones, so maybe Will won't have as many hang-ups about homosexuality as I do.

Perhaps, if I am lucky, Will can be my future.

 

 

 


End file.
